1. I don’t know why I’m in Taiwan but it’s working out so far. I want to say that traveling has brought out the best parts of me, and I definitely think I’ve become more outgoing, but truth be told, things are just so easy here…in a way that I don’t think they are back home? I’m not sure because I never tried to navigate post-grad life at home, but looking at my state-side friends, it just seems expensive, difficult, and frustrating. In any case, I found a niche for myself, and I’m not ready to leave.
2. My procrastination hasn’t necessarily improved. It’s been a constant issue in my life ever since 5th grade “diarama” projects started piling up. I have a fear of failure and tend to quit things immediately if I’m not good at it, e.g. sports, pre-med, visual art. Now that translates into not sending important emails, not regularly studying Chinese, and not mailing gifts/post-cards.
3. I haven’t figured out fashion yet, but maybe it doesn’t matter. My current boyfriend and most recent ex are both super-involved in fashion, and they subsequently took it upon themselves to dress me more nicely. Although I think I tend to be more conservative (read: boring) than either of them are. Do I need to wear skinny jeans if I’m already shaped like a bean pole?
4. I have been really lucky with all my relationships/friendships, particularly in the last 5 years. I still believe that I’m an introvert, but maybe I’m changing? I secretly love being the center of attention and surrounded by friends. I think the “me time” I so desired in my youth is becoming less and less important to me.
5. I’m in love with stories but have difficulty in motivating myself to read. Or even committing to sitting down to watch a movie. I end up doing things that are more accessible but less enjoyable, like an endless string of Youtube videos or playing with stupid apps on my phone.
6. Music is so important to me, and I once thought it was my greatest talent, but I doubt myself. I wonder if I should have pursued more formal training. In any case, I’ve found ways to continue playing/writing in my free time, and maybe that’s all that matters.
7. I will analyze little things to death, but somehow the big things don’t phase me so much. For example, after chatting with a friend, I’ll fret about whether I worded something correctly, but losing my job? Eh, I’ll get a new one. That’s probably just “white guy living in Asia” privilege though.
8. My family life is basically perfect and it’s hard for me to imagine it otherwise. My boyfriend has no family life to speak of, and he barely communicates with them. I find this impossible to relate to, but I try my best to understand.
9. I once tried working out to get buff or at least not so twiggy. After six months of intense work, I didn’t really look any different. Plus, the gym culture for guys is such a huge turn-off to be. I decided that I’m fine being skinny.
10. I hate being early for things to the point that I will be late to everything, even really weighty things like interviews and plane flights. I’ve missed my last three flights. In a row.
tagging carnageandcarnality to read this, and ryethoughts, cristoforisdream, and jamesthird to write one!